HOME

I bathed in the river today
it finally becoming clear
the feeling that was always there at some level
feeling FORLORN
an exile
alone.

As I felt the waters swirl around me
and through me
I knew in that moment what it was . . .
I was missing HOME.

I let Creator comfort me
And hold me
And tell me everything will be all right.

Receiving the cloak of power being draped across my arms
as I hold them out to accept this gift

Seeing the brooch of the peacock’s feather
blazing on my right shoulder
for the eye which has been opened to see
bringing the honour and glory of the inner realm into this existence
an emissary finally accepting being in a foreign land
moving from FORLORN to beloved
from that of HOME being “there”
allowing myself to be healed
to dance
with the pace of perfection
the pace of love.

Thank you for the roles you played in this
for opening yourselves
for believing in me
seeing past my resistance
and witnessing my healing
ascension on earth
incarnation.

May the love that created all things descend upon you
and bless you
and heal you
and fill all things.

I am.

Nov. 24, 2015, Wakefield

And there were emissaries of the true light sent to all the corners of  every world, each one dearly beloved, each one entrusted with a mission, with the full authority of the one who commissioned them.  They enter their world by incarnating. And when they are ready, when the moment is ripe, they are called, the hand being placed on their shoulder to awaken them from their sleep and they arise and begin their work, the work for which they came, for which you have come. Know that you never really left your home, that your home is here in this moment, that it is like a layer permeating all the dimensions of time and space, that the inner and outer realm are one, that the same energy embodies the entirety of all that is.  I bow my head in prayer, my heart worships, sings praises and laughs as I allow myself to embody the mystery of this world in which I find myself, the mystery of creation.

And now I witness the love descending upon the entire world, upon all the worlds. Thank you for this most precious gift. I am home.

6 am Nov 24, 2015. Wakefield. After the Digging Deeper workshop

Brokenness and Rebirth

The brokenness of a hardened heart
The logic that a lifetime of self-inflicted pain
Is better than risking future hurt,
cruelly inflicted by the hand of life,
afraid to love or risk again.

Oh Creator
Let me feel the pain and be healed from it
Let me see that it is finished and complete
And that life awaits me
To taste its most precious fruit
That my heart may open to the new day
Letting in the light that nourishes my soul.

Allowing the smile
That dissolves the crevice-filled rock wall that had become my face.
Oh how marvelous it feels
To open in this way to all that is.

To see the young child enthralled with the world they are discovering
The artist engrossed in their work
People living their passions
Me having escaped from my prison
Into the freedom to try again
To believe like a child in the unlimited realm of possibilities
Being reborn and given another chance
Yes! I believe!

I enter a world where I realise that outcomes are only a distraction
Rather it is every moment, every step taken in the present moment
That rewards
That brings riches and meaning to life,
That brings me closer to you
Precious you.

5:30 am Wed. Oct. 28th, 2015. Wakefield

Thank you Creator for the gift of every one of my experiences, which you have given me to enrich my life, teach me some important message, to bring me to who I am today.

May you and all of creation be blessed! May the man or woman who lives on the street have honour and glory bestowed upon them, the dignity that is their birthright;
may the child begging for money realise their power to change their life;
may all realise that the authority we claim to be under only has the power we give it, that we believe that it has;
that the rules and limitations we live under were simply invented once up a time for some human purpose.

Thank you Creator for the power of choice, for the teachings that lead me to you and to myself.

Creator:

Let me be strong enough to allow my heart and soul to weep‎ deeply
Knowing that tears are healing
‎And they have never destroyed anyone

Freedom to see, hear, read, feel
any word, teaching, experience,
allowing it all into my heart;
knowing I am protected by Creator’s light . . .

there is no holding back or fear of being corrupted.
a word is only a word;
all energy is from God, from the Creator of all that is.
I allow myself to be moved, touched by the hand of life, to become pure energy that the wind can blow through without resistance, I see that all the time I spent evaluating and censoring with my mind for wrong or misguided teachings only made me subject to them; that truth and meaning were placed by Creator long ago in my heart and soul, that every experience allowed inside simply waters and provides nutrients to allow that seed inside to grow into the majestic being that Creator envisioned. And so the message is to allow that flow unimpeded and without fear.

Herein ends the lesson.

Spark

Seeing you yesterday
you looked beaten
worn down
an old man.
I walked with you
knowing that I would be late
I remember when we worked together
your spark
your courageous enthusiasm
your zest for life.
we kept talking
and walking
another block further
and another
until we realized we were going
almost the same way
and as we spoke
having nearly reached
the place to part ways
I noticed some of that spark
had returned
and I could see you
beginning to emerge again
awakening from the tyranny
of an existence
that turns people into who you were becoming.
But the hand of life
can stir inside us
bringing back zest and meaning.

Creator of all that is,
use these gifts to call us to awaken
any who are broken
discouraged
in search of meaning.
whisper inside us
the vast richness
that exists
the currents that flow inside us
through us, around us.
I feel the hope
the love
the awareness of this
I allow it
to guide my footsteps
along the path I have been given
Climbing the highest mountain peaks
crossing streams and deserts
summer filled valleys
sailing across the mighty oceans
to distant lands and tribes
until I realize that my heart
is my home
and you are here with me.

Blessings upon you and our world

Oct 27, 2015 5:30 am. Wakefield

Oh My Heart!

Oh my heart
Share with me your deepest yearnings . . .
Is it to love and be loved, to feel wanted
to feel forgiven, good enough
to feel allowed to sail off towards an unknown calling
to be brave and courageous
to live without fear, to follow my dreams,
the truth I know deep inside to be right
to move beyond the illusion of doing
where the doing in and of itself
no longer has importance
rather it is the feeling
the state of mind
which is independent of doing, time,
and all of the other illusions of this existence.
Using the mind or thoughts to create reality
to bring change, transformation
to the inner core of light, the deepest points
that move my existence
allowing that place to permeate my being,
to manifest
to create new beginnings
to worship
to find the magic and mystery
that exists in everything, in every moment
in this dead tree lying on the ground
still majestic in its glory
but no longer representing my life
a heart filled with gratitude
on this glorious Thanksgiving morning
the fall colours of the Gatineau Hills near Wakefield
my home
I share with you today.

Oct. 12, 2015

Ode to my Heart:   I listen to you, I listen to the song you sing, sing to me today, your voice, so beautiful, it moves my soul, I am filled with love for you and all of humanity, for all of creation, for the good, the bad and the ugly, for the cowards and the spiteful, for everything I ever was, am and will be. For you Paulo and all your readers, and any who despise you or I or those close to us. I rejoice today that I have found the courage to express the words I have been given, to share them with all who would read them, launching out into the unknown, the uncharted waters whose path fear always kept me from following. Show me Creator, show me who I am, reveal to me the mystery of this incarnation, teach me the lessons I have chosen to learn today, in this moment. I am. One. Oct 15, 2015.

Of Masters and Me

It has been 2 years since I left my master
It was time to go
the signs were all there
and now the master has a new name
and the chapter is closed.

Oh how I love you
how I wish you well on your journey
I remember two things you saw in me
my suffering warrior spirit which you worked to free me of
something about a gift as a communicator
I have wondered what that means
Is it the poems, the writings, which I rediscovered in my time with you,
which flow from my pen, my heart, my soul?
Is it from the state I enter when I write, re-read the writings or hear them read back to me by my voice recorder?
Reading Coelho’s works I wonder if it is time to find a new master

I say
“Creator teach me, become my master”
and in that moment I hear the Screech Owl
loud and unmistakable
its voice travelling from the forest where it lives
through the walls of my house and into my heart
where I hear it.
An omen, a sign.
But what does it mean?

That I am to listen
that Creator will guide me
That my mind will not always understand
that the path has all that is needed
that each journey is unique
that ultimately I must find my way
I must walk my road, that road I am meant to follow
The one whose path I cross and parallel
often so close beside it
but in the obscure light of doubt
I fail to see my progress
moving ever closer to my true self
to that which is real in every moment, every breath.
Let us walk
together, separate
each one towards ourselves,
where each path is blessed and holy.
Blessings be to you and I.
One.

6 am, Oct. 7, 2015 Wakefield

Investments

Every day
I give
Something dear
Something precious
Some pound of flesh
A soul fragment
That I was never meant to give
The cause not being my own
Giving not from a pure heart
From some sense of obligation or fear.
Today
I call back all my soul fragments
From the edges of the earth
From all generations of time and eternity and between time
And command all yours to be cleansed and returned to you.

I can find my dreams
Where I have hidden them
Allowing that burst of emotion
To issue forth
To move me
To consume everything
Standing in the center
Of a flaming ball of golden light,
“Everything must go”
Until the love that consumes
Is the only thing that remains
The love that guides every waking moment
And every thought at night
Allowing that love
To be here right now
In this moment of awakening to the mysteries of life
To who I am
To see the ancient mystery of your soul
That has existed before time
And the pain
That like a layer of darkness
Obstructs the view of the beauty below
But I can see through the darkness
My eyes like the sun can burn through the mist
Until the beauty of your soul is unveiled
Allowing that which has always existed
To be seen
To see how beautiful it is
How beautiful you are
Precious you.
I will look at you
Seeing this beauty
Letting my heart be filled with love and wonder.

I will ask the Creator to heal the pain and suffering I see in the world, that I carry in my heart, that it may be healed, that we might be healed.

Sept. 5th, 2015. 6 am Wakefield.

Dedicated to all the roses that have ever bloomed in this world

The Victor (Parts I and II)

Today I ride forward
With my head held high
I have emerged from the rubble
From the pain of the cruel masters
Of doubt, worry, insecurity, indecision and cowardice
Having slain them with my sword.
I have come to see
That all those things I have ever beat myself up for
If they were an act of courage or bravery
Were really acts to be extolled
Regardless of the outcome
That the fears of defeat or disappointment
Are dragons to be slain
And that the peace that comes from letting go of dreams
Is poison to the soul
That I know the road to follow
That it is like a silver thread
That I can take hold of
To lead me through the darkness
That my dreams can nourish my soul
That I can fight the good fight
That I can rise up and awaken
From the dream of the planet
From the safe death
Of the misery of self sacrifice
Of trying to transcend the need to live.
To grow
To be filled with passion
Excitement
The indescribable triumph
Of the human spirit
To allow those gifts to burst forth into my life
To allow the seed to grow
Into the tree of life
So rich and beautiful
So alive and free.

Fredericton, 6 am. July 12, 2015.

Part II
I am the heavens and the earth
I am the great awakening
I have existed from the beginning of time
I am every breath that has ever been taken
Every thought that has emerged from the darkness
And every ray of light
Be it weak or small, strong or mighty
For there is no distinction
Between each layer of perception
There is neither good nor bad
There is only All That Is
And me riding on my horse
Sword and head held high
Having emerged victorious
Victory, a state of mind
Unchangeable
Unstoppable
Untied to any reality or outcome
This is the truth that has been given to me today
For all eternity.
This is the bread of life I share with you
In this moment of the giving of words
Receive these blessings into your life
According to the divine will
According to the wisdom of the ages
According to what has been given to you
Your many precious gifts.

Amen.

Conversations

I spoke with Jesus today
I had so many questions
So many things I wanted to know.
I felt the beauty of his presence
So rich, so whole, so filled with love and compassion
Acceptance of everyone.
I saw that it was not he who asked me to give my life to him when I was a boy
It was not his message that I was unworthy and in need of salvation
That his message was that we are loved
And we are to love: God, others, the rich and the poor
The outcasts, the condemned and those who cause them such pain
And that I am to love myself
As he loved everyone.
I asked that the vow I made as a child
Be finished and complete
That I may know him as he truly is
That I may know what it feels like
to believe that I am worthy
that I am loved
as Creator intended, and therefore as it is, was, and always will be.
Amen.

Sept. 3rd, 2015. 5 am Wakefield.

My Heart

How do I know when I have found you
you most precious
see my tears of joy
how my face softens
and the years and worries fall from my body
like water pouring off our tin roof when the morning sun melts the frost
a type of rain to grace the emerging blue sky on a crisp winter morning

I am here
I listen
I hear your voice whispering love songs
telling me I am beautiful
taking me gently in its arms
and bestowing upon me
all that I need
to step forth into the world
no longer afraid of being different
unique
myself
Casting aside fear
and embracing life.
Here.
I offer this to you
to you my precious heart.
You.

Sept 23, 2015 6 am Wakefield

The Storm

Today the pain came in full force

I let it enter in without resisting it

The pain of a thousand lifetimes

The feeling of having failed

Of profound hurt and disappointment

I let it all come crashing down upon me

I felt it flow through every cell of my body

Even my heart

Which up until now

I had always tried to protect

I watched as its endless flow of torment continued

Allowing it in all of its intensity

Like the wrath of a cruel god

Blowing through the heart of the earth.

For an eternity it continued

Until

Little by little

I came to realize

that the storm had blown itself out.

I saw how I had somehow remained standing the whole time.

Had I resisted

The hurricane would have grabbed hold of me

And dashed me against the rocks

But instead

There was nothing for it to grasp in its evil talons

And I like the ether

Open

Remained present

while the storm in all of its furry

Moved not a hair on my head.

And so I stand now

Having felt fear, anger, sadness, longing

The entirety of human emotion

Flow through me unabated

And in this way been released from the cruel masters

A power that was never real but only imagined.

Having seen the smile re-emerge

Heard the mighty laughter ring forth

I have triumphed

I have conquered

By opening the door to allow defeat and total annihilation to enter

And finding the only thing that was destroyed

Was their power over me.

That I have emerged victorious

Proudly displaying all of my scars and wounds from battle

With the glow of loving kindness

Radiating from my entire being

For all to see.

I am.

Amen.     Wakefield, Sept. 18^th, 2015  5:45 am