Archive | January 2016

Two Things

Yesterday I learned two things
That brought tears to my eyes
As I saw the invisible
And released a bottom belief

The first was about the bond between us

Oh how beautiful
So extraordinarily beautiful is your Soul,
So vibrant,
Eternal.
I realised the depth of my love for you,
How I have always loved you.

The second was a core belief I carried hidden
deep inside my being

I saw how terrified I was
Of hurting those I love
Of allowing pain to overwhelm a vulnerable Soul
so fragile
so easily broken

seeing myself as someone who could protect
nurture
take care of and
shelter them
This being something
within my power to do.

So all encompassing‎
did this purpose become
Seeking any means I could
Lest a precious one be overwhelmed
And go the dark place
The place of no return
Lost forever
to me and to this world.
Finding anything better than that
even the slow destruction anger brings,
for at least anger keeps us safe from that place
that place we must never go
at any cost – the logic of the unconscious mind
Choosing a lesser evil
a sucker’s choice
Not realising win-win and mutual purpose
are always an option

And so the cycle continued
Until my Soul could bear its cross no longer
Yearning to be free from a path I had chosen
An ancient path I called my own

Awakening from the dream
of having been created to shelter others
from the pain of this world
I saw the great irony
of needing others to have pain to fulfil my purpose
Me then, an unconscious accomplice and participant
of an outcome serving no one

And such was my life
Until through a beloved servant
I was shown the light of Creator the true healer,
Whose work becomes possible once we are ready
once we open ourselves to it;
Learning what it feels like
to believe,
to trust
to truly love others
and see them as whole
capable
To watch them learn to spread their wings and fly
Cheering You can do it! And I believe in you!
Trusting Creator, trusting life, trusting them, trusting me.

Blessings upon you today and always.

Amen
Wed Jan 27, 2016 6 am

So who is this new God?

A God who can teach me
Without suffering
Without needing pain to teach lessons
A God who loves me
And is always there for me
A God who guides me
Speaks to me
That I can entrust my entire being to
Without holding anything back
Without feeling ashamed of any broken bits I may have
Free of the need to be perfect before coming forward
This is the God who waits to be found by me
This is the God who held me at the moment of my conception
Who holds me now

Will you teach and guide me
Speak to me and show me your truth
Take me as your servant for all eternity
Will you accept my gift
Will you love me and teach me to love others
Will you free all the words that are trapped inside me
From the time before I could speak and times I have been afraid to

Receiving yes to all these questions and the ones still unasked,
I allow my entire being to open

Standing before this God
I receive the call to raise my lowered head and eyes
Opening the windows of my soul
To behold and be beheld
Without fear
Without the need or desire to be something or someone else.
And from a pure heart
To love and bless others
To exist simply because I exist,
Without needing some niche,
Some thing I am good at to justify my existence
and why I am here
Standing before you
Breathing this air
Sharing our common humanity

I am alive!
I am here!
I feel life coursing through my veins

You
Precious you.
Here is my hand, for you to take
Here is my heart, for you to hold

There is no fear
Let us bless one another
As we embark on the road we have been given.

I allow the tears of gratitude to come
Gratitude for the blessing of the time we have shared
The richness that having known you has brought to my life
To the spark
The life force
That uniquely forms the collective tapestry
Of the wonder of creation.

May your road always be before you
May the Light of this existence radiate from your being
May you find meaning in every moment
May you be blessed.

Dedicated to every person who has ever lived on this earth, to those I have known and have yet to know, to those I have loved and hated, embraced or struggled against, despised and admired, held close or pushed away. In a twinkling of an eye my world has changed and everything in it. Blessed be.

Sunday January 24, 2016 8:30 am

God

God,
I made you in my own image
All that I resented in this world
All that I hated and despised
My struggles and fears and loss of innocence
That once gone I could never get back
I never knew how much I hated you for that
You, the God I created.
And then
Last night
I saw
I felt
I knew
There was something else
Something more
Something deeper
Something that I had not known before
A God not made by man or woman
A God of light
A God who could not be described by words, by human concepts
A God who could be known
But not in a way that human beings teach.

Lowering my guard, my defences
The God I had constructed
from years of study, practice, meditation
Became just that
Freeing me to allow that image to become
a picture on a wall in the museum of life
And something vaster
Something inexplicable
Began to emerge
And fill my being

Expanding from the centre of my creation
Outward in all directions.
Feeling the absence of the anger, regret and resentment
That was my life

Having been given
A new vision
A new world
Life in all its resounding splendor, honour and glory
Offered to me
To you
To everyone
To every One.

Amen.

Saturday, January 23, 2016. After the ThetaHealing Circle. Thank you Michelle, Hildegard, Patty and Isobel.

Of Flesh and Blood

Listening to Sarah McLachlan or Sheryl Crow
A stimulus such as music
I open to let the wave of raw energy
Of unfiltered emotion
Hit me full force
And with a mighty thud
I land undamaged
In a moment of ecstasy
Fully present
Heavy and dense
Descending from the world of spirit
In a process otherwise known as incarnation
Becoming flesh and blood
From Sky to Earth
To the Land of Eden
Our birth rite
Descending into Water
Deeper and deeper
As the light becomes more and more obscure
Letting my eyes close
Re-entering the still waters of the first life on Earth
Cells growing in fluid
Floating while tethered to Mother Earth
Like those creatures who learn to see
Without eyes in the blackened darkness of the ocean depths.
Becoming more and more dense,
I am flesh and blood
Renouncing the spirituality into which I would escape
Instead embracing the density of this incarnation,
the intense emotional state of human experience
Rejecting the notion of rising above problems,
instead of dealing with them
allowing this life to become my life
no longer waiting but being
. . .The Power of Now
Learning to speak to people
To see them as human beings
Understanding what that means
Understanding that it is all about the frequency of my interaction with you

I am you.

Beholding you
Your mystery
As if for the first time
In awe at the entire you
The whole of who and what you are
Your hopes and dreams
Your hidden aspirations and inner workings
Your friends, family, partners, lovers, children
Born or unborn
Who you are now, have been and are yet to be
How it all weaves together
The common thread connecting every human being on this planet
Every life form,
Every animate and inanimate object
Allowing this awareness to embody all that I am
All that you are
All that is.

Amen.

Early morning, Jan 14, 2016, Wakefield

From the series “The Prophet Speaks”

Getting beyond the Lynch Mob

I am great at telling stories inside my head
About why you act the way you do
At drawing conclusions about these “facts”
This indisputable evidence
Trying you in a kangaroo court
In which your reaction to being “hung out to dry”
Is used as validation of my judgement.

But I can step back
And see with true vision
The multifaceted swirling circles of truth
That dance around us.
Then all the illusions of the “fundamental attribution error” fall away
Leaving you and me
Who we truly are
Want we truly want
Our common purpose and respect for one another

I need to see you
At a level far deeper than the surface of the pond
To know what has caused the ripples
To allow all the forces acting upon you to be revealed
To shine the same loving light upon my own life
To understand why I act the way I do
To bring to consciousness all the hidden beliefs, commanding their release.

Freedom
The freedom to see through
To see past
To alter my vibrational state from the one we are taught
To that of here and now
To omniscience
To allowing the knowing, seeing, feeling
Accepting that it is possible
That it is safe and allowed
Permitting the closeness that comes through truly seeing someone,
The whole of them, to the deepest levels of their soul,
Their truest motivations
When all the cobwebs and clutter are brushed aside . . .
Oh how beautiful you are, I am
I bask in the sun-filled glow of this beauty
Of the knowledge of our true essence
Of Creator’s light and love
Made manifest in our human existence
Blessed be.

Amen.