Today the pain came in full force
I let it enter in without resisting it
The pain of a thousand lifetimes
The feeling of having failed
Of profound hurt and disappointment
I let it all come crashing down upon me
I felt it flow through every cell of my body
Even my heart
Which up until now
I had always tried to protect
I watched as its endless flow of torment continued
Allowing it in all of its intensity
Like the wrath of a cruel god
Blowing through the heart of the earth.
For an eternity it continued
Little by little
I came to realize
that the storm had blown itself out.
I saw how I had somehow remained standing the whole time.
Had I resisted
The hurricane would have grabbed hold of me
And dashed me against the rocks
There was nothing for it to grasp in its evil talons
And I like the ether
while the storm in all of its furry
Moved not a hair on my head.
And so I stand now
Having felt fear, anger, sadness, longing
The entirety of human emotion
Flow through me unabated
And in this way been released from the cruel masters
A power that was never real but only imagined.
Having seen the smile re-emerge
Heard the mighty laughter ring forth
I have triumphed
I have conquered
By opening the door to allow defeat and total annihilation to enter
And finding the only thing that was destroyed
Was their power over me.
That I have emerged victorious
Proudly displaying all of my scars and wounds from battle
With the glow of loving kindness
Radiating from my entire being
For all to see.
Amen. Wakefield, Sept. 18th, 2015 5:45 am
Today I came to see you
To look into your eyes
To feel your presence
To feel the emotion
That I feel when I behold you
From that state of “non-interpretation”
Without using my mind to ascribe meaning or significance
There is only the raw / unprocessed
Stream or flow of
Energy / life force / love
That is there
In every song, word, movement, interaction
Waiting to be felt, experienced
And when I behold you while in this state of being
This state of allowing myself to feel
The entire flow of data
Becoming an open receptor
Where the entire river flows through me uncensored
Both in and out without grasping hold on to any particular bit of data
Without needing my conscious mind
To interpret anything
What an extraordinary feeling
To be in this state
This state of rapture
Which comes from allowing this flow.
And from this state
Allowing my dreams to return
To take hold of them like a sword
a beacon of light
Holding them out high in front of me
For all to see
As I launch out
Into a new beginning.
I am alive
I receive this life that is given to me
I accept my mission
And the message comes
That all that I need is here.
Aug. 29th, 2015. 6:30 am Wakefield.
As so the lesson is that the voice of fear is only one of many, being part of the flow of information. It is no longer seen as a cruel master, simply being one of the many tools which the true commander of our lives, i.e. ourselves, has at their disposal.