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Being

Imagining you
Standing before me
Oh the flood of emotion
Feeling the incredible joy / rapture
All the way down to the bottoms of my feet
My skin tingling
Expanding inward to eternity
As I stand here
Loving and filled with love
Seeing everyone I have ever known or met
Standing in a long line before me stretching from left to right
As far as the eye can see
There is the one I loved like a father
The one I wished well for, respected and would say hi to,
There is my good friend from childhood, my buds from high school,
The ones I loved dearly
Those I was hurt deeply by
Where pain still lingers or lies hidden.

One by one I stand before each of you
I look and I look and I look
Deeper and deeper and deeper
Until I see your Soul
Until time dissolves
And the moment becomes eternal
I imagine myself filled with such love
Such love for you
I imagine how that would feel
And then imagine feeling that feeling
Knowing that there are no limitations in imagining
That all things are possible when I imagine “being” or “having” or “being in the state of being”.

As I stand before
I say your name
As I gaze into your eyes
Allowing myself to remember you
And see all the beauty of you
Everything I ever admired you for
cherished
loved
was drawn to in you,
acknowledging all those things whatever they are or were
(be they good things or pain and trauma)
for through acknowledging
I can forgive myself and be healed of that which hides
and then I can imagine myself healed, being whole and complete
not because of anyone else
but because my true nature is that of love, and that is who I am, was and always will be
And so, precious one, as I stand before you
As I gaze into your eyes
I imagine so many things . . .
I imagine the feeling of being whole and complete
Without looking to you for me to feel that way about myself
I imagine being able to stand on my own and being able to stand before you
Imagining forgiving myself for who and how I am or was with you
And forgiving you for the pain and hurt I felt
And have carried for so long
I imagine a new state free of the need to carry that pain
That pain that was always part of my life, having become the “normal” state  . . .
And as I look at you
The image of you that I created in my mind
Changes as my vision clears
And I see your Soul
As our Souls see each other
My Soul – perfect, whole and complete
Beholding your Soul – perfect, whole and complete
What more is there than that!
I see until there is no more
No more pain
No more separation
No need to pretend
Act strong
Be this or be that
Until there is nothing more
Than me
And you
And this big line of people
And it all swirls and flows and becomes one
And I am left with a gentle, sweet tenderness
For me, and you, and the long line of people
And the greater mass of humanity
Each one unique and precious.

Amen

Sunday September 11, 2016

Love

The heavens inside me open
allowing me to see clearly
with the eyes of love
love, which is our true nature
which sees the minutest detail
a microscope
with which everything can be seen
from which nothing is hidden
from which nothing needs to be hidden
because the more clearly I truly see
the more I love
for I cannot help but love the one I behold in this manner
seeing their true nature, their essence, their Soul
that which is eternal in them.

And so I now understand
that when I stopped seeing or rather stopped allowing myself to see,
in that moment I stopped the flow of love inside me
closing myself off from the most beautiful precious force in the whole universe
what people call God
what people look for outside themselves
but which is not found there
for it is here
in this moment
inside us
in the power of now.

I acknowledge my pain
a life time of feelings of helplessness
For acknowledging is the means through which trauma is healed,
truly,
through which I can allow myself to let my eyes see again
(for they are made for seeing)
so that the flow of love can be restored
inside me and through me
and from me
to you
and to the world
that I am.

Herein lies the answer to all the suffering
for in this act of acknowledgement
there is such warmth and acceptance . . .
it is ok to cry, to have been hurt and broken and filled with despair
it is ok to have failed and been foolish and made any number of countless mistakes
those mistakes which have tormented me throughout my entire life . . .
and in this spirit of beholding without judgement or condemnation
of looking with the microscope that love is and seeing everything,
then the pain, the hurt, the trauma
can flow and swirl like the genie coming out of the bottle,
and once freed from this bottle
(the prison into which I had made my heart)
I am no longer cut off, being able to give and receive all that is needed for life and living.

Come, oh loving child that you are, that I am
I will open my heart
and acknowledge everything that yearns to be acknowledged
I will see with the eyes of love
– seeing everything
– seeing beyond that which only fear perceives
– seeing through to the true essence, the devine
– seeing everything until the flow of love is restored
until I realise that you, me, everyone and everything when perceived in this way
are all perfect, whole and complete
because that is our true nature
that all the imperfections are only perceptions
obscuring my vision
from seeing the divine inside us, behind the veil.

Yes
that is it.

Peace and love and blessings to each and every one of you.

Amen.

Sept. 1, 2016. 6 am. Wakefield