Archive | April 2015

Confessions

I have a confession to make . . . .
I write poetry
Early in the morning
When no one is around
When everyone is sleeping

I like to explore
The hidden parts of my soul
When no one can see me cry
Where no one will ask “What’s wrong?”

In these moments
My soul feels so free
So happy
So full of life

In this calm quiet peaceful place
I am free of all my fears
Of what you would think of me
If you knew
How different I am

If I could show you
My deep dark secrets
My faults and imperfections
All that about which I am ashamed
Regret
Wish were different
If I could step forth
If only I could change
All of those parts of me
That cause you pain

Open
Open to allow the force of creation
To fill me
Flow inside me
Breathe it in
Feel the rapture
Feel earth and sky merge and become one
Every cry be heard
Longing met
Heart filled with joy
Soul with love
Feel forgiven
For being different
Different from whom I am supposed to be
To please others, parents, bosses, family
For being who I am

In this place of bathing in the Creator’s
Unconditional love
Which surrounds us all
Right now
As I write
As you read
I am open to allow this
Love to enter me
By saying yes
And allowing it to fill me
Say yes
Allow it to enter
Like a golden beam of light
Feel it flow into the top of my head
Slowly down into every cell
Descending throughout my entire body
Washing me clean
I am yours [insert your name]
I am the one I was created to be
I am the wind that blows inside my heart and soul
That calls me forth
To emerge from the hidden place
To go forth into the world
To find you
You who are always here
Beside me
Inside me
All around me.
I am.
April 28, 5 am Wakefield

The Search

One day I went to find you
But you were not there
I searched everywhere
I returned home
Alone
How I wept that night
Broken
Curled up on my side on the floor
The cold hard floor
Why did you leave me
To face life without you?
Lost
In my fear
Anger
Sadness
Not understanding
Unable to comprehend why.
Hours
Days
Years passed
in that moment
the dissolution of everything I believed
hoped for
considered right and true
and then slowly
gradually
I opened my eyes
And found
The world was still there
I saw my arms, my legs, my flesh
I looked inside
And there you were
Where you had always been

You held me tight
You showed me what it feels like to be loved
Wanted
Worthy
For the first time in my life
I saw
– I knew –
It was true.

April 11, 2015 Wakefield.

The Healing

Struck by the incredible beauty
I stand transfixed
Almost forgetting to breathe
Oblivious to everything else
Except me and you
and this moment
Who are you Creator?
You who have existed before time
You who transcend time
You who feel
The longings
In my heart and soul . . .
Softening my face
Allowing my smile to emerge
Allowing my flesh,
my face
to glow
to shine
to radiate loving kindness.
Here I am
ready for your return
you who never left.

April 11, 2015 Wakefield.

The Discovery

Seeing the world open and unfold
Who I am emerging like a butterfly from its cocoon
Amazed to behold my beauty, my uniqueness
Finding my tribe
Spreading my wings and flying
Here I am
Look how I can move without touching the ground
How my heart feels so free
As I float through the air
Sometimes alone, sometimes surrounded by hundreds of other butterflies
See my role in creation
To spread love; joy;
Becoming aware that what I thought was an impenetrable fortress
Was only a mirage
that can only hold me when I believe in its existence
that at any moment I can pass through these imaginary walls
I can love
I can be me
I can receive love
Feel the currents of the force that moves the universe
Flow through me and carry me to the pinnacle of creation
Where I behold all things
Where all things are known
Surrounded by my tribe
The whole of creation
We rejoice
We worship together
We embody oneness
And each part of the whole.
Join me
In this place
In this moment
Step free from our hidden chamber
Into the pearly while light of the seventh place of existence
Into freedom
Into who you truly are
Accepted
Loved
Precious
A miracle of creation
Whole and complete
This is who you are!
This is who I am
This is the energy
That created all that is
That flows in each one of us
Inside the whole of creation.
Thank you creator of all that is
Thank you for these words
Thank you for the precious gift of life
Thank you for today, for you, for me, for all that is.

May peace, love, kindness and all manner of blessings
be upon you and upon every part of creation.

April 9, 2015 6 am. Wakefield.