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The Search

One day I went to find you
But you were not there
I searched everywhere
I returned home
Alone
How I wept that night
Broken
Curled up on my side on the floor
The cold hard floor
Why did you leave me
To face life without you?
Lost
In my fear
Anger
Sadness
Not understanding
Unable to comprehend why.
Hours
Days
Years passed
in that moment
the dissolution of everything I believed
hoped for
considered right and true
and then slowly
gradually
I opened my eyes
And found
The world was still there
I saw my arms, my legs, my flesh
I looked inside
And there you were
Where you had always been

You held me tight
You showed me what it feels like to be loved
Wanted
Worthy
For the first time in my life
I saw
– I knew –
It was true.

April 11, 2015 Wakefield.

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The Healing

Struck by the incredible beauty
I stand transfixed
Almost forgetting to breathe
Oblivious to everything else
Except me and you
and this moment
Who are you Creator?
You who have existed before time
You who transcend time
You who feel
The longings
In my heart and soul . . .
Softening my face
Allowing my smile to emerge
Allowing my flesh,
my face
to glow
to shine
to radiate loving kindness.
Here I am
ready for your return
you who never left.

April 11, 2015 Wakefield.