A God who can teach me
Without needing pain to teach lessons
A God who loves me
And is always there for me
A God who guides me
Speaks to me
That I can entrust my entire being to
Without holding anything back
Without feeling ashamed of any broken bits I may have
Free of the need to be perfect before coming forward
This is the God who waits to be found by me
This is the God who held me at the moment of my conception
Who holds me now
Will you teach and guide me
Speak to me and show me your truth
Take me as your servant for all eternity
Will you accept my gift
Will you love me and teach me to love others
Will you free all the words that are trapped inside me
From the time before I could speak and times I have been afraid to
Receiving yes to all these questions and the ones still unasked,
I allow my entire being to open
Standing before this God
I receive the call to raise my lowered head and eyes
Opening the windows of my soul
To behold and be beheld
Without the need or desire to be something or someone else.
And from a pure heart
To love and bless others
To exist simply because I exist,
Without needing some niche,
Some thing I am good at to justify my existence
and why I am here
Standing before you
Breathing this air
Sharing our common humanity
I am alive!
I am here!
I feel life coursing through my veins
Here is my hand, for you to take
Here is my heart, for you to hold
There is no fear
Let us bless one another
As we embark on the road we have been given.
I allow the tears of gratitude to come
Gratitude for the blessing of the time we have shared
The richness that having known you has brought to my life
To the spark
The life force
That uniquely forms the collective tapestry
Of the wonder of creation.
May your road always be before you
May the Light of this existence radiate from your being
May you find meaning in every moment
May you be blessed.
Dedicated to every person who has ever lived on this earth, to those I have known and have yet to know, to those I have loved and hated, embraced or struggled against, despised and admired, held close or pushed away. In a twinkling of an eye my world has changed and everything in it. Blessed be.
Sunday January 24, 2016 8:30 am
I made you in my own image
All that I resented in this world
All that I hated and despised
My struggles and fears and loss of innocence
That once gone I could never get back
I never knew how much I hated you for that
You, the God I created.
There was something else
Something that I had not known before
A God not made by man or woman
A God of light
A God who could not be described by words, by human concepts
A God who could be known
But not in a way that human beings teach.
Lowering my guard, my defences
The God I had constructed
from years of study, practice, meditation
Became just that
Freeing me to allow that image to become
a picture on a wall in the museum of life
And something vaster
Began to emerge
And fill my being
Expanding from the centre of my creation
Outward in all directions.
Feeling the absence of the anger, regret and resentment
That was my life
Having been given
A new vision
A new world
Life in all its resounding splendor, honour and glory
Offered to me
To every One.
Saturday, January 23, 2016. After the ThetaHealing Circle. Thank you Michelle, Hildegard, Patty and Isobel.
Listening to Sarah McLachlan or Sheryl Crow
A stimulus such as music
I open to let the wave of raw energy
Of unfiltered emotion
Hit me full force
And with a mighty thud
I land undamaged
In a moment of ecstasy
Heavy and dense
Descending from the world of spirit
In a process otherwise known as incarnation
Becoming flesh and blood
From Sky to Earth
To the Land of Eden
Our birth rite
Descending into Water
Deeper and deeper
As the light becomes more and more obscure
Letting my eyes close
Re-entering the still waters of the first life on Earth
Cells growing in fluid
Floating while tethered to Mother Earth
Like those creatures who learn to see
Without eyes in the blackened darkness of the ocean depths.
Becoming more and more dense,
I am flesh and blood
Renouncing the spirituality into which I would escape
Instead embracing the density of this incarnation,
the intense emotional state of human experience
Rejecting the notion of rising above problems,
instead of dealing with them
allowing this life to become my life
no longer waiting but being
. . .The Power of Now
Learning to speak to people
To see them as human beings
Understanding what that means
Understanding that it is all about the frequency of my interaction with you
I am you.
As if for the first time
In awe at the entire you
The whole of who and what you are
Your hopes and dreams
Your hidden aspirations and inner workings
Your friends, family, partners, lovers, children
Born or unborn
Who you are now, have been and are yet to be
How it all weaves together
The common thread connecting every human being on this planet
Every life form,
Every animate and inanimate object
Allowing this awareness to embody all that I am
All that you are
All that is.
Early morning, Jan 14, 2016, Wakefield
From the series “The Prophet Speaks”
I am great at telling stories inside my head
About why you act the way you do
At drawing conclusions about these “facts”
This indisputable evidence
Trying you in a kangaroo court
In which your reaction to being “hung out to dry”
Is used as validation of my judgement.
But I can step back
And see with true vision
The multifaceted swirling circles of truth
That dance around us.
Then all the illusions of the “fundamental attribution error” fall away
Leaving you and me
Who we truly are
Want we truly want
Our common purpose and respect for one another
I need to see you
At a level far deeper than the surface of the pond
To know what has caused the ripples
To allow all the forces acting upon you to be revealed
To shine the same loving light upon my own life
To understand why I act the way I do
To bring to consciousness all the hidden beliefs, commanding their release.
The freedom to see through
To see past
To alter my vibrational state from the one we are taught
To that of here and now
To allowing the knowing, seeing, feeling
Accepting that it is possible
That it is safe and allowed
Permitting the closeness that comes through truly seeing someone,
The whole of them, to the deepest levels of their soul,
Their truest motivations
When all the cobwebs and clutter are brushed aside . . .
Oh how beautiful you are, I am
I bask in the sun-filled glow of this beauty
Of the knowledge of our true essence
Of Creator’s light and love
Made manifest in our human existence
Sink or swim
You leave it up to us
But you know we will fail and fail again
Why don’t you save us?
Why do you make it so hard?
So much torment
So much suffering . . .
Giving us heroes like Robin Williams
Inspirations larger than life
Only to watch him take his own life
Why do you so punish humanity?
Leaving us to flounder
What do you say to me Creator?
Oh you who are both Mighty and Little,
Listen to me.
You want many things
You want Love and Meaning
You want to reach out your hands to divide the waters
To make dry land to walk across
You want to walk on water and be powerful as a God
You want to unlock all the mysteries of creation,
Including why you are here
You want to change everything that is not as it should be
In short, you want to be God, being made in God’s image
But you are impatient
You do not want to ask for help
You want to be allowed to make your own mistakes
To follow your own star
Without being told what to do or how to do it
You know that you will get there eventually
You were born with this knowing
And though your heart rages against me
You would have it no other way
For you are a free people
Free to choose bondage and suffering for yourselves.
But Creator why?
Why don’t you tell us / show us / send someone?
Help us see what we need to see
Heal us and take away our pain?
Isn’t that the role of the prophets you sent and keep sending?
Why then don’t we listen?
Why don’t we heed your voice?
My voice is the whole of Creation
I have shown you who I am and how to connect to me
To hear my voice
To listen to me
You have worked hard to clear the layers that separate us
And with every layer cleared I become closer to you
But don’t you have the power to make this easier?
For less suffering?
Feel my love
See my smile
Know that your world is the one that you have created
Your creation is not mine to change
You, being a God, have infinite power
Your world will not change until you decide to change it
That was the choice I made when I gave you the power
It is eternity that I see
This time is like that of an infant becoming a child and growing into a man or woman
You must learn to crawl before you walk and run
Is it bad to fall?
Of course not.
When a child falls
They learn to get back up again.
How else could they learn that?
If I told you that you were in school to become God
Would that change how you felt about this curriculum
that seems so hard?
Will you allow the faith and hope that comes from knowing
that everyone will graduate from this Godschool,
That no one will be left behind?
Do you see how linear time
Becomes the Eternal Now
In which past and future disappear
Along with the suffering they imbue
Would you like to know what it feels like to live without suffering, that it is safe to, that you are allowed to, that you deserve to?
Would you like to know what it feels like to believe that we will all get there eventually?
(I watch as Creator downloads these feelings, this knowing into me, into you, on every level, into every cell of our bodies, for our highest and best)
Thank you for speaking to me
For sharing your wisdom with me
Thank you for the beauty in people and in this world
Thank you for revealing the mystery of who and what I am.
Show me the role you would have me play
Fill me with joy and passion for life
With wonder and openness.
Let me walk the road that is before me
I see it now
It is straight and true
It has no beginning and no end
As you are
As I am
As we all are.
7 am Winterburne, Ontario. Dec. 23, 2015
I open myself Creator
your loving smile
upon my face
to allow the emotion of it
to flow through my entire being
10 minutes of ecstasy to change the world
to change me
and my perception of who and what I am
allowing the altered state
to permeate into the core of my existence
letting me be me
and you be you
letting Creator be the one to save the world
having been released from the yoke of misunderstanding
freeing me to love and accept all that is
to open my arms
feeling Creator’s unconditional love flowing into every cell of my body
through me and to all that is
feeling my connection to Earth, so strong, so rooted
simultaneously flying through time and space
observing the invocation of Creator’s blessing
as one year ends and another begins
this is a time of love and oneness
of hope and reconciliation
a time to shed that which is obsolete
a time for rebirth
to rise from the ashes
to be holy
to emerge from slumber, from waiting
for metamorphosis, the next evolutionary leap
Blessings be upon you, all of you
Hear the words that Creator speaks to you in your heart
Dec 16, 2015 6 am
I bathed in the river today
it finally becoming clear
the feeling that was always there at some level
As I felt the waters swirl around me
and through me
I knew in that moment what it was . . .
I was missing HOME.
I let Creator comfort me
And hold me
And tell me everything will be all right.
Receiving the cloak of power being draped across my arms
as I hold them out to accept this gift
Seeing the brooch of the peacock’s feather
blazing on my right shoulder
for the eye which has been opened to see
bringing the honour and glory of the inner realm into this existence
an emissary finally accepting being in a foreign land
moving from FORLORN to beloved
from that of HOME being “there”
allowing myself to be healed
with the pace of perfection
the pace of love.
Thank you for the roles you played in this
for opening yourselves
for believing in me
seeing past my resistance
and witnessing my healing
ascension on earth
May the love that created all things descend upon you
and bless you
and heal you
and fill all things.
Nov. 24, 2015, Wakefield
And there were emissaries of the true light sent to all the corners of every world, each one dearly beloved, each one entrusted with a mission, with the full authority of the one who commissioned them. They enter their world by incarnating. And when they are ready, when the moment is ripe, they are called, the hand being placed on their shoulder to awaken them from their sleep and they arise and begin their work, the work for which they came, for which you have come. Know that you never really left your home, that your home is here in this moment, that it is like a layer permeating all the dimensions of time and space, that the inner and outer realm are one, that the same energy embodies the entirety of all that is. I bow my head in prayer, my heart worships, sings praises and laughs as I allow myself to embody the mystery of this world in which I find myself, the mystery of creation.
And now I witness the love descending upon the entire world, upon all the worlds. Thank you for this most precious gift. I am home.
6 am Nov 24, 2015. Wakefield. After the Digging Deeper workshop