Two Things

Yesterday I learned two things
That brought tears to my eyes
As I saw the invisible
And released a bottom belief

The first was about the bond between us

Oh how beautiful
So extraordinarily beautiful is your Soul,
So vibrant,
Eternal.
I realised the depth of my love for you,
How I have always loved you.

The second was a core belief I carried hidden
deep inside my being

I saw how terrified I was
Of hurting those I love
Of allowing pain to overwhelm a vulnerable Soul
so fragile
so easily broken

seeing myself as someone who could protect
nurture
take care of and
shelter them
This being something
within my power to do.

So all encompassing‎
did this purpose become
Seeking any means I could
Lest a precious one be overwhelmed
And go the dark place
The place of no return
Lost forever
to me and to this world.
Finding anything better than that
even the slow destruction anger brings,
for at least anger keeps us safe from that place
that place we must never go
at any cost – the logic of the unconscious mind
Choosing a lesser evil
a sucker’s choice
Not realising win-win and mutual purpose
are always an option

And so the cycle continued
Until my Soul could bear its cross no longer
Yearning to be free from a path I had chosen
An ancient path I called my own

Awakening from the dream
of having been created to shelter others
from the pain of this world
I saw the great irony
of needing others to have pain to fulfil my purpose
Me then, an unconscious accomplice and participant
of an outcome serving no one

And such was my life
Until through a beloved servant
I was shown the light of Creator the true healer,
Whose work becomes possible once we are ready
once we open ourselves to it;
Learning what it feels like
to believe,
to trust
to truly love others
and see them as whole
capable
To watch them learn to spread their wings and fly
Cheering You can do it! And I believe in you!
Trusting Creator, trusting life, trusting them, trusting me.

Blessings upon you today and always.

Amen
Wed Jan 27, 2016 6 am

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